I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
