Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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