I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
