wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
