I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
