he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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