I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
