Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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