Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
