The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
