There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
