If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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