I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
