Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
