when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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