sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
