Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
