If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
