Say something about gay babies.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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