belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
