office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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