I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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