You really coming over, don't trick.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Rumble strips road head = magical
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
