I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
