Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
not ubering you a puppy
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
