Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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