And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
