Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
