The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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