Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
