Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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