Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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