i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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