I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
