it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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