the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
im holly from the hills drunk
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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