we have officially lost it.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
