Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
the liver wants what the liver wants
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
