The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
