Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
