Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
