That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
