White coat. Heels.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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