two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
And my parents said I crawled through the house
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
