Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
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