Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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