She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
