My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
