Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
