Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
and she was petting her beer can
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
