Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
