bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
