Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
