Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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