I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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