Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
